Meanwhile Rick Perry, the Republican governor of Texas, and quite possibly the man who will be the next president of the United States, has a plan to solve the current financial and political turmoil engulfing his country:
Perry, in a message inviting Christians to the [large evangelical prayer] rally, said: “Right now, America is in crisis. We have been besieged by financial debt, terrorism, and a multitude of natural disasters. As a nation, we must come together and call upon Jesus to guide us through unprecedented struggles, and thank him for the blessings of freedom we so richly enjoy.”
He added: “Some problems are beyond our power to solve, and according to the Book of Joel, chapter 2, this historic hour demands a historic response. Therefore, on 6 August, thousands will gather to pray for a historic breakthrough for our country and a renewed sense of moral purpose.”
He called on Christians to join him at the 71,000-seat Reliant football stadium for the seven-hour rally, “with praying people asking God’s forgiveness, wisdom and provision for our state and nation. There is hope for America. It lies in heaven, and we will find it on our knees.”
People, I have some investment advice for you: Now is an excellent time to invest in property.
On another planet.